Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Saga II - And the Real Fun Begins!

Well I have decided to continue with Vonda's saga from the point where they arrived in Astoria, settled in and met up with me. You are definitely not going to believe all the wonderful things that happened to the three musketeer sisters (4th musketeer - where are you?). Well Vonda and Barb meet me at my house at approximately 6:30 to have a night on the town without our wonderful spouses or children (you know, the kind of night on the town where you get down dirty, wicked and wild). Vonda, with her memory fully in tact, tells me the guy at the motel told them about a really good place to eat but if only she could remember the name. I, of course, having lived in this area for almost a year, have eaten at darned near every eatery there is to be found. I am so small, lithe and malnourished that I simply must eat at every place there is to maintain my girlish figure. I know, I know - some people are politely calling it pleasingly plump, or full-figured but I prefer to call it curvy and voluptuous. So, not having a clear name to call it, I definitely remember the place she is describing and we pull into the parking lot. Barb all the while very subtly referring to their adventures of the day. Upon entering the establishment, we have a few minutes to wait and do our routine laughing and talking until being seated. I am quite sure the hostess was hustling as fast as she could so that the other patrons of the establishment would have some semblance of peace. Anyway we enjoy each others company and finish. We go to the front to pay for our lovely meal and I, being the tiny person that I am, turn to exit, run face to knee cap, into a very tall lady who is obviously quite agitated that I have run into her. I excuse myself, apologize, and exit. Barb and Vonda are directly behind me mumbling something about that very tall lady being quite rude, when I hear what I believe to be a shoe scuffing against the pavement. Vonda begins to laugh, all the while saying, Gee Barb, you hog. Then I realize it - that sound was not someones shoes, but my beloved sister, Barbara, with an uncontrolled flatulence. Now mind you, we have not been drinking but we might as well have been, because when I turn to look at Barb and Vonda I discover that the very large lady and her companions are directly behind Barbara. I can imagine how she must have thought that we were three young, voluptuous ladies, from Baker City, Oregon, where it is only the polite thing to do in showing how much you have enjoyed your meal by erupting with gaseous noises rather than belching like they do in other countries. Well as you might imagine, we were laughing so hard we could hardly stand it. We then continued home and when I walked in the door my daughter stated, daddy said you were going to be out until sometime in the early morning, painting the town - what kind of paint mommy? I told her it was brown.

Well I will let Vonda and Barb continue with the saga. I love you all!


Vonda said...

All I got to say about that earth shaking moment is:

I feel the earth move under my feet. I feel the sky come rumbling down, come rumbling down.

Isn't that the way the song goes?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha............

Jill said...

I have tears in my eyes from reading this one! This here is the story that makes me proud of my heritage!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed this! Oh, and Wade wanted to know why I was laughing so hard, so I HAD to read this to him, and he just shook his head with a rather bewildered smile and slowly said, "Your family...is so wierd."