Tuesday, October 16, 2007

My Eyes, My Eyes and Other Stupid Things

So I shouldn't tell every dumb thing I do but I must admit that it seems as though most of what I end up doing turns out kind of dumb. It all began last night. I made tacos for dinner and everything was just about ready. I took the new container of sour cream out of the refrigerator and proceeded to tell Dave that dinner was ready as I opened it. Well I don't really know how exactly this happened but I stirred it with a spoon like usual and the next thing I knew I had a great big plop of sour cream in and on my left eye. Of course as I am trying desperately to find a paper towel to smear that stuff around my face, Dave is coming in the kitchen to eat. He looked at me and didn't say a word. I guess he doesn't question my antics any longer if he thought that I looked normal. By the way, I can't begin to tell you all how many things I have dropped, spilled and broken when I am supposed to be removing them from the refrigerator. In fact I know for sure that I have a broken lid on my soy sauce right now which causes a slosh of brown stain every time the door is slammed. But the way I figure, it will keep me on top of cleaning the fridge at least weekly. As Marth Stewart says "That's a good thing".

O.K. so on to the eyes. Well we are invaded yet again by millions of ladybugs. Now I will probably get chewed out for what I am about to admit but we KILL them. I mean we poison them. No, wait. Really. I used to think ladybugs were harmless darling little creatures and I still do when they are OUTSIDE eating aphids off my roses. But since moving into this money pit of a house we have had a ladybug problem every year. I searched the Internet, called the extension service and on and on trying to find a way to get rid of them. The only answer I got was "shoo them out". "Don't kill them" blah, blah, blah. I resorted to vacuuming them constantly but after four to five times a day, they were still a problem. Especially in the fall. Dave and I both decided that this is crazy after being dive bombed numerous times. So we have been fogging the house each spring and fall.

Fall is by far the worst time but they lay their eggs and then in the spring a whole new batch comes forth. So we decide that today is the day. We set up the foggers and begin at the back of the house and begin turning them on. When we get to the living room and family room/dining room areas we do this together because the area is so large that we have numerous foggers. Well I have the last fogger in my hand and we are by the door and I pop the plastic safety piece and push down and TA DAAA! The fogger blasts forth right in my face. Yep, rather than pointing it away from me I point it right at my face. After choking, gasping and being drug outside by Dave, I realized that I had forgotten my purse and keys in the house. Well now the whole house was full of poison air. Dave, the worry wart, would not let me go back in to get them...and the house was locked up anyway. He got the extra key and put his coat over his face and went in and got my purse. I couldn't go back in take a shower again or change clothes so I went on to work and washed in the restroom.

After the initial coughing stuff I feel fine but my eyelids kept burning kind of like I had rubbed Mentholatum on them. But my eyes don't burn and the skin is not red but it just burns a little. So Dave made me call poison control and I was told I needed to use dish soap because it is about the only thing that will cut through the oily based poison. The poison control lady was laughing when I told her that I couldn't figure out why all the bugs were dying as I walked in my office. I literally could walk through a swarm of gnats and I would not be touched. I mean it seems as though I could hear them screaming. Really it wasn't that funny. Well I couldn't very well wash with dish soap here in this tiny bathroom, at least not the way she told me to. She said "hold your head sideways and after rubbing dish soap in on your eyes, have someone run cold water over you eyelids". What? Who would come do that for me at work? So I went home at noon, showered, changed and opened up the house.

One more thing. As I was leaving my office I tripped over a cinder block someone had pushed in front of the door and fell flat on my face in the rain and my purse flew in a mud puddle.

And how was your day?


carrie & troy keiser said...

Oh My Gosh! I'm sorry about your eyes.... but that was dang funny to read! I hope they are free and feeling much better. :-)

Jill said...

Poor Mom. Not to laugh at your troubles, but this was hysterical! I've sprayed a lot of random poisons into my eyes, so I feel your pain. Hairspray, body spray, Windex...it's always something. You crack me up :)

Kelli said...

Ha ha oh mom that sounds hysterically terrible! Hysterical for us but terrible for you! And to top it all of you trip and fall in the rain?! Man that is not a fun day! And don't worry about anyone thinking killing ladybugs is mean because if they had the problem you guys have they'd all do the same! Ladybugs have lost their cuteness now!

The Dairy Wife said...

Oh my gosh, I hope you're okay. I bet that did burn.

We too are bombarded by lady bugs. I hadn't heard of fogging them. But guess what? We're trying it. I hate them and I hate the smell of them. Ewwww.


Vonda said...


So it happens elsewhere also. You are right. I hate the smell of them and until we moved into this house I never even knew they had an odor. Bombing works great....we haven't had a live one since we did it....Yay!

Just protect your eyes....ha ha!