Happy Birthday Jill

Twenty six. Heading now toward the big 30.

We are so lucky to have you in our family.

Hope your birthday is wonderful.

A shout out to Shalon who shares his birthday with Jill! Happy Birthday Shalon.

Happy Birthday

Today marks another year gone by for Kristi. Happy birthday sis. We all love you so much and hope your day is splendid!

Here she is in all her glory. She doesn't look old even when she tries....hillbilly, maybe but not old.

Bet you are wondering why Kristi had to share her birthday space with her husband huh? Well it is because I forgot. Yes I know, I forgot to post a happy birthday message to Pat in May. Happy Birthday Pat! Sorry. Old. Old. Old Age is creeping in.

Birthdays and Memory

I tried to write this last week on the 17th but for some reason just could not get it done. Every year on this date I wake up and think of my father. I see his twinkling eyes and again say a prayer of thanks for how very lucky we were to have had him for our dad.

I try but can't imagine him being 82. He will forever be 64 and the arrow in my heart stings a bit on this day but I also remember his humor and laughter. A trickster he was.

BUT there is another reason to celebrate this day. Barb's son, Jason, turned 36 as well. He is my parents first born grandchild. What a great gift! I think he has his grandfathers eyes, don't you sisters?

Happy birthday Jason. We love you.

What You Don't Want To Hear Your Doctor Say

"Wow! You have strong sphincter control!" Yes sisters, it was my physical today and really, did he have to say that? Especially in such an awkward situation? He is lucky I didn't say "Yes doctor, I have been building those particular muscles for fifty years now so watch out, you may draw back a broken finger". Does this now mean I join the ranks of a body builder or wrestler? Can you see the headlines? WOMAN WINS TITLE FOR SPHINCTER MATCH!!

Don't laugh, this could be you. Now off I go to have a colonoscopy in a few weeks. Stay tuned for all the  details? Maybe I will break the  colonoscope (the little camera) with my strong sphincter. Har har!

Happy Birthday Kelli

My baby is twenty three years old. This is what the old people always say when they talk about the youngest child aging. Well I must admit I have joined the ranks of the old because.........

How did you get from this...........

and this little sweet pea.........

and this little curly haired girl...............

and this little waif.....

and this sweet young lady..........

and this beautiful teen...........

to this beautiful young woman? You have such a sweet and gentle heart and a truly loving spirit. You are probably one of the kindest people I know and not just because you are my daughter but because it is true. You have such a dry wit and fun loving spirit all mixed in with a quiet shyness. You love your friends and family and are loyal to the core. Happy birthday Kelli. We are blessed to have you in our lives.

Things Heard Today

So I took my mother-in-law to have cataract surgery this morning where face it, most people are elderly in this office. Not all, but the majority. So because I love old people, whom I am fast joining the ranks of, I really enjoyed listening to all of the stories and visiting. Here are a few things I heard.

The following is from the this cute little old lady and her husband who were waiting for him to have cataract surgery. She had hers done last year and can now see better than ever.

She:"Damn it, Joe now you will be able to see the dust again"
He: "Haven't you been dusting all this time?"
She: "Nope, and it is a woman's prerogative"
He: "What?"
She: "Never mind. It's a big word"

She: "My kitty woke me up at 4:30 this morning"
Me: "Wow, that is early"
She: "Yep, she wanted a glass of water"
Me: "A glass?"
She: "Yep, she drinks from a glass. Puts her little paws on the table and drinks from a glass. But she won't drink until she makes sure I sit down and drink my coffee with her"

She: "My great granddaughter is three years old and she took me out on the porch to have a private conversation the other day. She told me that she was a little chubby but that when she grows up that she will have great big boobs because all of that chub will move up."
Me: Laughing...."I am still waiting for my chub to move up. "
Another old guy: "Yep she will know when her belly button is up here" (pointing to his collar bone).

This was from another couple and she was going to have one eye operated on. She was already blind in the other.

She: "They won't let me drive. I love to drive my sporty Beemer and yes I like to drive fast."
He: "Thank God you are going blind"
She: Smacks him on the arm "Well I want to drive"
He: "I said nope and they (the Drs.) will back me up on that"
She: "Oh hush"
He: "Watch it or I'll come smack you from your blind side"

Oh how funny and open they are. Nothing to lose and a lot to say.

Achy Breaky Back

Loretta has been suffering with two herniated disks for several months now. She finally decided to give in and have this problem repaired but only after stubbornly finishing her schooling, exams and probably much more than we know about. So Wednesday she joined the likes of me, two brothers and our mother and had back surgery. This appears to be a family problem as all of us have at one time or another had back problems.


I drove to Hillsboro to be with her and decided to spend the night in the room so she wouldn't be alone because usually for the first few days you really are pretty helpless. She decided that she would just continue to have muscle spasms so every movement was pretty much agony until they got the pain under control and gave her some muscle relaxants.

Well let me tell you spending time together at fifty some years old is not like when we were children. I remember when we were very little that four of us had to sleep in a double bed together and Barb had the top single bunk to herself. We lived in a single wide mobile home at the time and space was certainly limited for a family of seven with only two bedrooms. I had a doll and wanted to sleep with it. Can you imagine how crowded this already was? Loretta was so convincing....she told me that it would melt if I put it in bed with us. I of course believed her. I have a very loooong memory.

So this hospital stay was just a bit like this only I was the boss and she would not listen to ME this time and take enough pain medication to keep comfortable. I am trying with all my might to be Nurse Carrington and bribe her with meds, booze, cigarettes, naked dancing men and such. She only said sweetly "no thank you". She doesn't know this but I offered the real nurses all of those above mentioned things and they said it would be taken care of. However, I don't think they communicated with each other and must have snuck in at different times "just to make sure she was comfy". Loretta was on a pretty good drug induced hazy high. I had to drop kick a few aides trying to be nurse imposters once they heard about the goods.

What Loretta hasn't figured out yet because she never had a chance to look in the mirror was that the doctor was also becoming a plastic surgeon and was doing a little internship for that part. He gave her a free face makeover so now she looks like this.

Hey it could have been worse. Lucky for her she didn't wake up looking like this.

But all is well and she is home and still sore. But now I hope she is on the mend. She had better be because all I can say is I still have a bag of tricks.

P.S. The nurses told me that old women snore but I think they were just trying to cover the fact that they were sleeping at the nurses station.

Happy Birthday Loretta

Although I wasn't around at the time fifty three years ago our parents brought home a second little girl. I look back over the years and I remember how loyal and softhearted you always were and still are. You have always been a loving and supportive sister and I want you to know how in awe I am of your strength. You have had a very hard personal life and through it all you held your head up proudly and pushed on no matter how bleak each day might have looked. Your strength and ability to love so strongly taught me how to be strong in the most difficult time of my life, that of losing my daughter. Your sense of family, strong determination and love touches so very many people. You deserve all things wonderful.

Happy Birthday sis. I love you.

Birthday Girl

Today is a great day to celebrate because it is Kamisha's birthday.  Kamisha is Barb's beautiful and favorite daughter.  Of course she only has one daughter so it is pretty easy to be a favorite daughter isn't it?  Hard to believe that little sweet girl is 31 and a mom.  Happy Birthday sweet girl!  I hope you have a wonderful day.

Sing Along With Me

Come on sisters. Sing along with me. I dare you because even if you don't sing it out loud it will stay in your head all day. Now Kristi, I know you aren't quite here yet but make your elderly sisters feel good and sing with us to the tune of My Favorite Things. Ready......go!

(click the arrow to hear the music outside of your head)

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Taste buds gone all wrong, can't find those damn glasses,
Don't have to tolerate any dumb asses,
We can wear purple and big gaudy rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Bald heads and hairy legs, can't see for good grooming,
Doctors and nurses, blood tests all a looming,
Memory is fading, our underwear clings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,
When the hips break, the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Welcome to our 50's

I should preface this by saying that our family is somewhat unusual. I bet you couldn't guess that. Two of my aunts (my moms youngest sisters) are the same age as myself and my oldest sister. That meant that my mom and my grandma were pregnant at the same time. Twice. We grew up with our aunts, whom we really don't think of as aunts but maybe close cousins or sisters, and spent lots of time together either at our house or my grandparents. At my grandparents house I learned from Nancy (my age) the fine art of cussing out cows when you were kicked through the air and slammed into the barn wall. I learned that shoveling pig poo knee deep in the pen in the spring was not a career or hobby I cared to repeat each year and many, many other things. Nancy and I spent many a summer afternoon eating my grandmothers profit from her juicy red raspberries straight from the bushes. I remember sitting on the ground in the center where no one really could see us. I am sure grandma knew but she never got after me.

Nancy is probably one of the most amazing people I know. She has done many unusual things and has always pushed ahead even against many obstacles. Just some of the things I can think of is that she has her pilots license so she could fly her husband in to remote areas to hunt in Alaska, she has a college education and teaches classes at Alaska Pacific University in her spare time, she trained to become an Alaskan state trooper, she can hunt, fish and bow shoot as well as any man and never hesitates to try something new. I understand she and Mickey (her husband) went on an African safari this fall. She inspires people and has a big heart. Oh and she can be as crude as the worst hillbilly. I'm proud.

Nancy's 50th birthday is this month and I have been trying to think of a way to ring in her 50's and welcome her to the same club as the rest of us. It needed to be just a little special because I know she wouldn't want it any other way. I may live to regret this. Amen and Hail Mary.

So Nancy, here's to you and your special birthday. I love you, really.

Birthday Boy

Happy 11th Birthday Jordan!!!! On a snowing, December evening 11 years ago today, this wonderful, loving, compassionate soul entered our life. I am so blessed to have him as my son. We love you Jordie!

Birthday Boy

Today Brian turns 32. Wow am I getting old or what?

Oldest born and only son.

But look. Is this a sad situation or what? Missing his birthday huckleberry pie.

Don't worry Brian. When you come home for Christmas, the first thing here to greet you will be that pie!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I LOVE YOU!

Suspensers and Other Old Lady Issues

Try as I might, I just couldn't come up with a more catchy title for this post. Just a warning for those of you that might be grossed out by the older generation and personal stuff. You may want to quit reading while you are ahead. But I dare you.



While visiting Loretta back in August we were lamenting on all the woes of aging, hot flashes, weight gain, hair in places like toes that you really don't want to know about. Barb said she wished that there were some sort of invention to hold your underwear up so they wouldn't roll down. The more we talked I could just see that light bulb come on above her head. Sure enough, there materialized an idea. She came up with the idea of suspenders that would hook to old lady granny panties and the bottom of a bra, hence just like men with plumber crack issues. The new "suspensers" were born.

While on our sisters trip, we approached the idea of our new invention to our other sister and sisters-in-laws and asked them if they thought this was a worthy invention. Of course my daughters and Kristi (who is closer to her nieces ages) were totally grossed out. They just couldn't even imagine having that problem, let alone wearing granny panties. Well, I say we older gals leave them in the dust and they can come crawling to our doorstep begging for money when their panties begin to sag and roll. Then we will have the joy of slamming the door in their faces, that is if we are still alive.

Now this idea is patented so don't even think you can steal this to make your first million. Barb found the perfect photo for the invention. I love the peacock feather addition. Strut your stuff ladies!

THE NEW SUSPENSERS!!!

Loretta, this is especially for you since you were unable to attend out sisters vacation. However, you will remember our visit to your house when this idea was hatched. Get it, hatched. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!